testing..testing.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

have you ever stood in a crowded room and felt completely and utterly alone?

have you ever known you were loved but never felt like you were able to be wrapped up or embraced in it?

-i have.
everyday of my life.

mitch missed lydia at3:16 AM

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Friday, September 01, 2006

it's currently 5am in the morning, and i dunno who im posting this for seeing how everyone thought i closed down this site like two years ago..leaving me free to rant about you as much as i possibly want to, wow. its been two years...gosh. and im still in love with you. what did you do to me mann. anyhows i went out with lynn today. funny huh..you going out with mich and me going out with lynn, but yeahh and i was just telling her about you and how i miss you terribly and all that. and we go for a movie, and my phone dies on me while im watching the show. and how lucky, it was you..and i like finished the show at about 9.45 then headed out side to chill out, i only reached home after 12mid night.. hook up my phone to the charger and was caught unprepared to see your name. why isit you appear always out of the blue. i dunno why. it always happens there's never a time that i find myself prepared to deal with you..but i guess we cant learn to deal with these things can we..gosh. i really really miss you. i dunno why but zena, sandra and lynn being over at my place and like seeing them flirting, rather sandra trying to flirt with lynn again. lying on the couch. the same one we first kissed. brought back so many memories..and i brought out the mattress like how nad was lying there, then we just watched vcds. gosh i havent lay on that couch for the longest time. im so tired that my eyes are rolling back in my head. i dunno what im doing up and why i put myself through all this torture. i kill myself bending over backwards trying to please everybody. and god im so tired..i cant run like this much longer. i dunno whats wrong with me. i know its dumb to hang on to the past..but what if you see no future. what if you cant let go, its not that you dont want to. you just really loved that person very much.

goodnight.

mitch missed lydia at5:00 AM

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

i dunno why but seeing our picture there.
uploaded in your friendster. under the caption "i remember"
it just made me break down in tears.
i dunno if i was crying cause i was happy or sad.
maybe just overwelmed.
thank you so much.

mitch missed lydia at2:32 AM

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

its like the harder i laugh in the day, smiling and joking;
the harder it is for me at night.

somone tell me exactly what it is im doing here?

mitch missed lydia at3:51 AM

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its been 6mths, 16days, 3hours, 27mins
since you went away..

mitch missed lydia at3:32 AM

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what if i had never let you go?
would you be the girl i used to know?
if i'd stayed, if you'd tried..
if we could only turn back time..
but i guess we'll never know..

and if i said we could turn it back
right back to the start
would you take the chance and make the change?

do you think of how it would have been sometimes?
do you pray that i never left your side?
if only we could turn back the hands of time
if i could take you back would you still be mine?

i still cant move on..

mitch missed lydia at3:19 AM

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oceans apart day after day
and i slowly go insane...

talk about same shit different day mann.
sighs.
gosh i miss you.
i had another long day again today.
worked. but it was pretty fun la. =)

okayy enough said. sighhs.. =/

mitch missed lydia at2:51 AM

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

hi again, im back for another post.
its so strange i just posted at my other blog.
but i guess i cant be so open with my emotions.
what exactly am i afraid of?
even im not sure how to answer that.
mich cant figure out what's wrong with me.
neither can i.
i think im just weird and stupid.
no one else would be like this.
sighs.

i had a pretty long day today.
it started off slow cause i woke up only at 2plus in the afternoon.
i changed and headed off to school to hand in my way overdue oop project.
then accompanied philip to his sch to collect cert.
then down to gradens cartel to collect our pay.
i made $380 buck in half a mth, not to shabby..
next mth's pay will be awesome i predict.
anyhows. then stayed there to study..
then headed down to st frances xavier chuch for mass.
its the asumption of our lady's feast day today.
its a day of obligation so i went with mich.
in order to find out what time mass was mich called lydia
who suspected we were there and popped by outside church
she was heading for tuition.
i must say i was dying to get a closer look at her
seeing how i havent seen her for coming four mths now..
but i figured since mich went out i couldnt leave the bag and the seat..
i was scared there'd be no more seats if i left.
but god how much i wanted to see her..
her hair is longer now.
and i bet she thought i didnt wanna see her..
hmmms.
ohwells.

not too bad i learned functions today.
one chapter of maths. i must say i picked up pretty fast.
then after church headed to study again...
then sidetracked and ended up chatting,
finally realised it was like 10.50pm so headed home.
i couldve dropped and walked home but decided to take the long way
by going all the way to the interchange with mich.
felt like taking my time..not rushing home.
so i thought alot while waiting for my bus...
"konstantine" was playing on the mp3.
replayed it till i got to my stop and to my house.
took a shower and decided to msg her.

me:" hello, wanted to say hi just now. but scared i come back no sit. how you been man?"

her:" err..hi. okayy.. im fine. just very busy. jc is tough."

me:" why? hectic? thank god i couldnt get in mann. if not i'd be dying. haha. so how's kyna? she like disappeared off the face of the earth man. im damn happy. i got my pay today. haha."

her:" yeah very hectic. esp for me. kyna is really busy too. good for you. spend wisely."

me:" haha. i AWLAYS spend wisely. haha. yeah. seems like hard work.. alright i'll let you get back to it.. just wanted to say hi. exams coming yeah? all the best then. you take care. maybe we'll catch up sometime. been wondering how you look like without braces. nights =)"

seems rather cold? ohwells.
i dunno la. there's nothing left to be said.
and i love you.
thats all.

mitch missed lydia at1:59 AM

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Monday, August 14, 2006

im so tired of saying it.
and im so tired of feeling it.
dont get me wrong i love you.
bu im just so tired of loving you.
its to trying, so tiring, so emotionally draining..

i dunno what you did to make me fall this deep.
and i dunno how to break this enchantment.
its rediculous be living this way..
god i dunno what to do! fuck.

my heart is far to weak to be running for you this long.

i love you until my heart broke.
and i'd do it all over again in a heart beat.
i never wanted to let you go girl.
why'd things have to turn out this way?
sighs.
your more beautiful then the night.

because i woke up lying in a patch of four leave clovers.

mitch missed lydia at2:03 AM

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Friday, August 11, 2006

im still in love with you girl.

one yr ago today we bought the ring. i wonder if you remembered.

mitch missed lydia at2:41 AM

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